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i kissed a girl

Tuesday. 09. 30. 2008.

Fredrik and I were listening to the radio on our way out and back from Örebro because I forgot to bring my iPod.

There’s a song by Katy Perry (God knows who that is) called “I kissed a girl”. The chorus goes something like this:

“I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it”

When we heard Katy Perry’s song on the radio, the first thing I said was that she’s making a bigger deal out of something that isn’t a big deal at all. Fredrik laughed a little.

Now I’ve never really kissed a girl before. I did share a kiss with a friend but that was to freak out another friend of ours. He was really concerned for weeks afterwards. He kept asking my then-boyfriend if it was true that I was having a fling with the friend I kissed.

Anyways.

Even though I’ve never kissed a girl before, I’m pretty sure that I like them in more than just a friendly way. I’ve known since I was 16 even though the attraction towards them started well before then. I’ve just never acted on these feelings because most of the girls I’ve been interested have been straight and most are also close friends of mine.

It’s frankly hard enough to make friends with girls and if the friendship works out and lasts long enough for me to have real strong feelings for them. Well… then the friendship is too important to be ruined by a foolish advance. Usually by then, you know if the girl is straight or not.

The farthest I’ve gotten was telling a friend that if we had not been such close friends, I would ask her out. I don’t know if she was just being polite but she told me that she feels the same about me. To this day, she has a special place in my heart.

People assume that if you’re interested in the same sex, then you’re this big sex fiend. I still remember the reaction I got when I told a guy friend of mine. The first thing he says to me is that we can go “cruising for chicks” together. This was in high school, so excuse the language and immaturity.

I honestly don’t think about girls I’m interested in a sexual way (not yet anyways). I think it has to do with my lack of experience in that department when it comes to girls. I never thought about sex with guys before I started having sex with them.

I do know that I feel something genuine for them because sometimes it’s hard to breathe when I’m around the ones I like.

“Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it”

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