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what a surprise

Thursday. 12. 6. 2007.

Week after week I have nothing going on. Please note that I’m not complaining about this.

This week, I’ve got a million things to do. On Tuesday, I went to Nightwish. Tonight I went out for dinner with Fredrik’s German friend who is in town for a few days. Then tomorrow, I’ve been invited to a “dinner party” at one of the people I have Swedish class with.

I’m feeling kind of bad that Ull is at home by himself for more time than he’s been used to. But he does need to learn to be on his own periodically and I need to be able to live my life. Although I must admit that when I am home, I spend nearly all my time playing with him. I really need to learn to let him play by himself.

I was telling Emmanuelle the other day that I might be going crazy from having Ull. I worry about EVERYTHING. I worry that he’s hungry. I worry that he’s lonely. I worry that he’s bored. I worry about him being cold when he’s alseep, so I sometimes cover him with a blanket. I worry about the silliest things.

When I first started living with Tara, I used to worry about everything also. I felt that I needed to be a host and I needed to be entertaining. I eventually realized that I wasn’t having a guest over, she was LIVING with me. Still, for the first few months I was constantly tense about doing anything of my own because I felt like I was neglecting her.

I hope that I will eventually loosen up and learn to let Ull play by himself. But he mews at me and in the most sad and pathetic sort of way. I think things will be easier when Fredrik comes home ’cause then we can share the duties of keeping Ull company and entertained.

I said I would bring a carrot cake to the “dinner party” tomorrow. I was in the midst of making the carrot cake when I realized that I have no eggs. So I will have to head out to the shop tomorrow after I wake up and finish the cake before I head off to school. I am using the zucchini cupcake from Everyday Food. Obviously, I am substituting the zucchini for carrot.

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