plans have been deverted

I was supposed to go see Radius and Helena last night.

But then the buffet food I ate for my brother’s birthday earlier that day made my stomach yell, “NO. NO. NO.” The food was pretty disgusting too.

So now I’m home. When I should’ve been waking up at The Manor and possibly heading out for another round of Black Metal Brunch with Denise.

I suppose I COULD head out now. But I also dont’ know if the parents have any plans now that I’m home instead of sleeping over at The Manor.

I’m not completely disappointed tho. I was really tired yesterday. If I had gone to the show I might’ve wished I could lie down for a sleep.

It’s getting on to 1 week with this tonsil pain. It still hasn’t gone away yet. I’m being more strict with the gurgling of salty water and the drinking of the citrus drinks. I’ll beat this thing without going to the doctors! You watch me! (I’ve also forgotten my health card. Hence the avoiding the doctor business. But I do want to be able to deal with this without antibiotics.)

sultry chicken

This cough of mine that I’ve acquired from the French is not letting go. My voice is still wonky and every so often a syllable will kinda disappear when I talk to people.

I’m on my own. Well not like how I was on my own when Fredrik was on tour but he’s gone back to Sweden now. I’ll see him in a couple weeks. This is peanuts comparing to the last tour.

We went to get wedding photos last Friday. I failed to mention in my last post that the lady that did the make up SHAVED my eyebrows. Not all of it. But to shape it. I would’ve been totally fine with plucking or waxing but then I suppose it would’ve been kinda red and unpleasant. But shaving is really no better. Now I have STUBBLE at eyebrow level. I was a bit shocked when she was there shaving my eyebrows but I figured she was the one holding the sharp object.

sick but surrounded by everyone i like

We’re reaching the back end of the week Fredrik will be here. Kinda sad that he has to go but our boys need him and so do his boys. At least the key people got to see him and he got to meet and greet some others.

I have been dementedly sick since Friday. Great since we had our appointment for our wedding photos. I did most of those feeling ok. Then things kinda went downhill. Fredrik was feeling a bit ill too. I slept for most of the evening feeling like someone had severely beaten me. God I love having a fever.

Luckily I managed to get myself back together for Saturday. We went to my favourite diner (Patrician Grill) for breakfast. Fredrik got to meet Terry and Terry got to give us our congrats and his condolences.

Then we wandered the streets of the downtown core. I made my first Apple store purchase: an USB Power Adapter. My iPhone comes with the old iPod power adapter with the interchangable sockets. I wanted the North American USB power adapter because it looks like a sugar lump with the prongs sticking out of it. I fell in love with it when I saw it last year (my aunt and uncle has iPhones).

We bought a ridiculous amount of food from Buddha’s for the potluck. Managed to run into nearly EVERYONE at my old work.

There was so much food and everything was so lovely EXCEPT I was loosing my voice. Irene said that I sounded very serious or angry. Someone suggested that I was sounding sultry. I started to relate the term sultry to chicken. Don’t ask why. Mmm… sultry chicken. Maybe I’m mixing up sultry with salty.

We got 2 wedding cakes. One from everyone at the manor. Awesomely crafted. One from Salma which was more targeted towards me.

“Go have your own babies!” is what I have to say to her.

We got Black Metal Brunch at Graffiti with Denise. There was a brief guest starring Genevieve. Linda makes the yummiest food. We’re hoping to go again this coming Sunday.

I got a prescription for Effexor from my doctor yesterday.

I’m still coughing out green chunks and occasionally getting bouts of vertigo.

Today is going to be a full day. Lots to find and we’re going to see the results of our photoing on Friday. Hope they’ll turn out ok. I don’t usually photo well.

OH. I also bought that Juicy bag I had my eye on but had no justification for. Tara bought a Juicy bag and I checked out the insides and what not. Then Denise, Irene, Tara and I had a council meeting. After much debate, my justification is that it’s my wedding gift. Since we went with “no gifts” from our friends. I’m hoping that it’ll arrive at my aunt’s place before I leave. *fingers crossed*

OH. It’s also not a Juicy bag once I get my hands on it. I’ve been calling it my succulent bag. I’m thinking about taking out the Juicy stitching and sewing in “succulent” instead.

back home

This post is posted in Canada.

It’s nice to be “home”. I’m starting to get used to this many homes idea. Sweden is home and so is Canada.

Nice to see the family and will be nice to see my friends.

As usual, I’m missing our kitties. Hope they’re not too upset that we’re gone but Fredrik will be home to tend to them not too long. Then I shall be there to be play mom again.

I’ve had a few nice chats with MY mom. I miss those mother-daughter moments. It takes a mother to understand some of the situations you go though and to comfort you properly. Not to mention share your outrage over certain issues.

I found out that my grandmother had a minor stroke a couple days ago. That’s got me worrying but she’s apparently fine now. Has new medication and is getting good care. I’ll see her in a couple weeks, along with the most of my extended family.

I think these 3 weeks will be fabulous. Really looking forward to the things planned.

Only problem I have now is that I forgot my meds back in Sweden. Hopefully Dr.Head will be able to sort that out for me. I’m most worried about going through withdraws and if things don’t work out, having to restart the meds and going through the bucket of side effects that was OH SO MUCH FUN.

so life altering?

Friends like to ask if things are different now that Fredrik and I are married.

I like to wonder if getting married is equivalent to getting a sex change. From the way that people ask me if things are different. I find myself wondering if I had indeed gotten a sex change and not just confirmed my relationship in a legal sense.

I will admit that there are “differences”. I no longer introduce Fredrik as my boyfriend but as my husband, which I noticed the other day that I rather like saying “my husband”. If Fredrik and I split up, I would no longer go back to having the label of being “single” but would be “divorced”. In that situation we would not only go our separate ways but also divide up our belongings. Most of these differences only pertain to that “if” moment.

Oh, I forgot about the fact that now Fredrik falls under the category of “family”. So if I were to wind up in the hospital for whatever reason, he would be able to pop into my room without the nurse refusing him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy being married. I like wearing my rings and saying “my husband” when I speak of Fredrik. But is it as “life altering” and “earth shaking” as some movies/tv shows like to suggest in those moments before the wedding? I’m not so sure.

From my experience, love is not quantitative. I simply love Fredrik. I love him before we got married and I love him now that we’re married.

Does the relationship feel more solid? More secure? It was not something that I felt a marriage would do. We weren’t getting married because we were afraid that we’d lose the other person. Not to mention, nowadays divorces are EVERYWHERE. According to Divorce Magazine, in 2002 Sweden had 54.9 divorces as a % of marriages. If the relationship wasn’t “solid” and “secure” to begin with, then the marriage probably won’t be either.

I suppose getting married does somewhat alter my life but not enough to say a definite “yes” when someone asks if things are different now that we’re married.

all the pretty people

A friend of mine posted on his blog a series of guys that he thinks are “HAWT”.

Apparently he added 2 more to his original list of 8.

To be honest, they don’t do anything for me. Just not my type of “HAWT”.

Aside from the obvious (the husband), I guess here’s my list of “HAWT”.

Tilda Swinton:

Abby from NCIS:

Cynthia Nixon:

Jeffrey Donovan as “Michael Westen”:

Niles from Frasier (I’ve had a crush on him since high school):

Dylan Moran:

going MAD

It’s less than 1 week till Fredrik comes home and I am simply going MAD.

I usually get a bit antsy the week before he comes home. But this time I’m going MAD.

There’s a lot of adjustments and adaptations involved around the time he leaves and when he comes home. Some good. Some not so good. Most of the time it just throws a wrench into my “neatly organized” abstract routine. But I’ll save that for another post.

Perhaps it’s the fact that this tour is 7 weeks long. Perhaps it’s also the fact that there’s at least a 6 hour time difference between us. Perhaps it’s also the fact that he’s been in countries in the past couple of weeks where his mobile doesn’t work and there’s limited internet access.

His tech sees him more often in 1 year than I do!

Side note: Ull’s whining that the birds have not visited the feeders. I really wish he would understand that it’s not up to me.

Anyways.

So I’ve been thinking about how much it sucks to have a husband that is gone so often. Mind you, if I had to make a choice (which I already did), I’d choose this life over the alternative. As I told Noel the other day, “Some Fredrik in my life is still better than no Fredrik in my life.”

I also got to thinking that there’s part of me that could meet other people who may be in the same situation as me. It’s like how I don’t like talking about being depression with people who has never been through a bout of depression. There’s sad and then there’s losing the will to live. 2 different things. In relations to Fredrik being a touring musician… there’s having to stay at work late but ultimately coming home to sleep in the same bed and requiring a 10hr flight to even hug the person.

I never thought to google “wives of touring musicians” but I did today. Surprisingly quite a few hits came up.

I still may have to start my own support group/forum but at least I know that there are people out there that I can complain about missing my husband and they know exactly how I feel.

5 tips for musicians’ wives

OH CANADA!

Not only does Fredrik comes home next week, we’ll be heading to Canada. 

It’ll be a bit hectic and busy for the first few days but I’m hoping that Fredrik and I will be able to get at least 1 day of quiet down time.

First thing on our schedule includes going to take wedding photos.

Yes… wedding photos. (My mother’s idea and insistence. Her argument is that I’ll never be this young and good looking. How Asian of her.)

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. Here are a few examples.

See Niagra Falls as part of the background? CLASSY!

Can you imagine Fredrik wearing something like that???

There is part of me that thinks that this could be plenty fun. Especially since I’ll get my hair and make up done. Haven’t had that done before.

It’s like Glamour Shots with a wedding theme.

Speaking of Glamour Shots. Do they still exist? Do people still get that done? I remember some of really young girls and it was a bit creepy. Like those beauty pageants for little girls.

what to do what to do

I have the day off. It’s too nice to stay inside. But at the same time I don’t need to get anything or do anything that requires me leaving the flat.

I should probably vacuum seeing that the mini Ulls and Milos are starting to gather in the corners and plotting some sort of revenge. But it’s too nice of a day to be home cleaning.

I wish I had friends that lived near me that I can go out for a coffee or have lunch with. I know that if we were living in Toronto, I’d be giving Noel a ring as soon as he gets enough beauty sleep.

I guess I can bike to the apotek to get Milo his deworming medication.

I still haven’t taken him to the vet to get his one year vaccine. I can’t find the door to the cat box and he’s too fidgety to take without some sort of restraining device. I’m sure he’ll manage even if he gets his shots a bit late. We don’t have to really worry about the cats getting sick since they’re indoor cats that don’t come in contact with any other animals except for a few bugs that they like to eat. They’re essentially living in a biodome of sorts. The cats do need more cat grass. But that can also wait.

I suppose I should do SOME studying for tomorrow’s test. I hope I get placed into a good class so I can finish this SAS Gundläggande as soon as possible and start taking SAS A + B, math and physics. I’m looking forward to learning some real stuff. I’ve been so bored in this class. I’ve learned all this stuff. At least the teacher is certain about the material she’s teaching. Not like Tatiana who only confused us with her over explaining and always sounding so uncertain.

I’m thinking that maybe I will take Mandarin since I just need 1 more class to make up the 400 credits I need to apply for CSN.

Anyways. Sitting in front of the laptop isn’t going to do me any good. Maybe I’ll start with some sewing.

oh mer

I’ve been blogging since highschool. Not officially “blogging” but at least posting my “journal entries” online. My ex used to read it to find out why I was pissed off at him.

A lot of my life has been out in the open and floating around on the interweb.

All this would never matter if a certain someone wasn’t kinda “well known”.

Nobody read my blog and/or cared about my little life. But things are apparently a little different now.

I guess it’s time for change. I’m feeling a bit crappy about it all.

I’m also feeling a bit crappy in the belly because I ate a curry chicken salad sandwich and it was like eating a whole jar of curry mayo.

Think I’ll eat something light tonight for dinner.